Wordless Wednesday – Wine
Babes on Rampage 2008
Tale of Two Homes: Our Commuter Marriage
Military families are used to separation. C and I are no different. We just take it to another level — I live and work eight hours away from where he lives and works. Yup. My Home is eight hours away from Our Home.
We never intended to have a commuter marriage. But getting married later in life (we’re both 37) meant we both had established careers, homes, and lifestyles. My job search in a specialized career field hasn’t been made any easier by his PCS move to an economically depressed area. So here we are, one of 3.5 million married couples that live apart for reasons other than legal separation. I fly to Our Home two to three times per month for visits, job interviews, and social engagements. When I am at My Home Saturday is Date Night — dinner and a movie over Skype. We use our leave to take family vacations. It’s not ideal, but it is our life:
Highlights
- Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Reunions are romantic, meaningful, and jam-packed with activities.
- I’ve been able to maintain my career and salary.
- Lots of flights equal lots of frequent flier miles. When I finally move, we’re going to celebrate in the Caribbean!
Challenges
- Maintaining two households: food, bills, taxes, insurance…
- Questions (oh so many questions) about when I will move, why we got married, and if I really love my husband.
- The knowledge that the longer it takes to get a job the more likely it is that I will end up moving while C is deployed or on a short tour.
- The longer it takes to get a job the more I question myself, my talent, and my desire to have a professional career while being a military spouse.
It works for now. Eventually we’ll have to decide an end date, but that will take some soul-searching and financial planning. Until then, I keep my fingers crossed and continue to read blogs of other milspouses. My challenges seem insignificant to the trials that others have. Hearing the successes give me strength and confidence.
Me, the Mom
“You’re the best step-mom ever!” -Jr
I’d like to think his praise was the product of years as a camp counselor or my work with college students.
It would have been easier to believe if we weren’t in the parking lot of an amusement park 🙂
Two Closets Full of Clothes and Nothing to Wear
Finding a wedding dress was easy compared to finding a dress for the Airman Leadership School (ALS) Graduation Dinner. It was my first military event, the first time meeting C’s co-workers, and my first event as Mrs. C. (I told you we like firsts…) I considered cancelling, then I thought better of it and went on a shopping spree.
The biggest challenge was making the connection between military uniforms and business clothes. If this was my work event, I would have worn a black suit. But that didn’t seem like the right fit for the occasion. And Sunday Best seemed too casual for our first event as a couple. C was sweet, but hearing “you always look great” wasn’t very helpful. I needed to know long dress vs short dress, cocktail dress vs shift dress with cardigan… I searched google images and found some great milspouse blogs but most folks were sharing what they were wearing to a ball/formal. Finally, I bit the bullet and bought a little black dress that could be worn to work with a cardigan and something a bit dressier. C made it easy. His eyes lit up when I tried on the second dress. Drum roll please…
ALS Graduation Dinner dress
The dress was perfect — it was 50% off and fit great. Plus it gave us a benchmark for what I should wear — all I have to ask is: “Dressier or more casual than ALS?”
How do you decide what to wear to military events?
Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day! #MilSpouseBloghop
Like most couples my husband and I count our “firsts” – our first date, the first kiss, the first time he made me dinner (it was yummy), the first time we met the other’s family… I never knew I’d be celebrating my first Military Spouse Appreciation Day and participating in my first bloghop. But here I am. Special thanks to Ronald Reagan, Household6diva, and Wife on the Roller Coaster for making it happen!
Hello everyone! I’m a new military wife and stepmom finding my way around my new life. Much to the relief of K, my 14-year-old stepdaughter, I’ve decided to blog anonymously. While names and photos are private the rest of our tale is an open book. The family also includes: C – my husband that has been in the military for 16 years, Jr – his 11-year-old son, the cat, and the puppy. My adventure as a spouse began this year on St. Patrick’s Day, when at the age of 37 I finally got married. Jumping into an established family during a PCS move while trying to maintain my career has been a challenge. I’ve struggled with separation (my home is eight hours away from our home), finding a new job in a very specialized career field, and determining my role as a military spouse. Why must there be so many acronyms? It hasn’t been easy, but I wouldn’t change a thing — the good times out weigh the bad and the journey along the way has made us stronger, more creative, loving people.
I hope you’ll visit my blog to catch up on my adventure. I’m also on Twitter.
I look forward to meeting more of you!
M
From Paris with Love (and the USO)
It was almost two years ago that C invited me to Germany. He had a few more months before he would return home to the states and this was my shot to tour Europe. What could be better — I had plenty of frequent flier miles, a free place to stay, the Euro-rail is cheap, and my passport was in need of a few more stamps. Even so, I was hesitant. We hadn’t seen each other since college and I worried that I would end up touring around by myself. I hedged until he said the magic word. Paris.
View from the riverboat
Friends who look at the trip pictures say that they can see us falling in love. An especially observant friend says he can pinpoint the specific picture. I smile when I see that crazy self-pic taken from our cramped bus seat. Then I think of the USO.We were on a USO sponsored trip to Paris that day. We consider it our first date. I consider it my introduction to military life; my first adventure. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I was surprised to meet so many parents of service members. They had put their lives back home on hold to support their children in Europe. Some were on holiday, but most were there to take care of their grandchildren during a deployment.
Yes, the trip was life changing. (After all, it was my last first date.) We ate crepes on the Champs Elysees, drank champagne in the shadow of Notre Dame, and watched the twinkling lights of the Eiffel Tower during a full moon. 
But it was also eye-opening. The stories of the 30 people in our group will live with me forever. They serve as the catalyst for me to get involved with the USO and to help enhance the lives of our service members.
Since this trip the USO has come to our aid in dozens of ways. I only hope that my stories and contributions will serve them well.
Has the USO played a role in your life? I’d love to hear your story.
adventuresinmilitarymarriage 